Bringing up that your partner hurt your feelings can make you feel vulnerable, and sharing with your boss that their tone can read as condescending can be risky. They break tension, deepen connections, and ultimately help you feel more understood. Vijayalakshmi offers a helpful reminder that awkward conversations are “equally difficult” for everyone involved. As such, keep an open mind and use active listening to understand all sides of the situation. Chances are, the recipient will feel vulnerable, so your undivided attention is vital for supporting them through this difficult time. With the right training and practice, leaders at any level can improve the quality of their conversations and feedback, creating a ripple effect throughout the workplace.

Don’t Go It Alone

You could also say something like, “This is tough for me to say,” or “I want to make sure I’m understanding you” to be fully transparent about where you are during the conversation. If all else fails, ask if you can take five minutes to cool down and then come back together to talk more. You could say something like, “This might be hard to hear, and I’m nervous to bring it up, but I think it’s important.” This type of clear statement helps create room for mutual respect and openness. There are few things in life that can make your stomach drop and your hands shake quite like the lead up to a difficult conversation.

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• A clear objective can help you stay focused, save time and effort, reduce stress and anxiety, improve communication, and promote mutual understanding.
• Explain back to them what you think they’re going for.

Whatever you hear, find something you like thewingtalks.com and build on it. If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Asking for the other’s point of view usually creates safety and encourages them to engage. If you’ve been successful in centering, adjusting your attitude, and engaging with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions will be easy. As much of the world switches to an almost completely online way of working, many of us will be experiencing increased pressures both at home and in the workplace. Spending more of our time in the online world can also amplify any difficulties or fractures that may already exist in our workplaces.

Listen Actively

First, use a videoconferencing tool, such as Skype, so that eye contact, facial expressions, and tone of voice will be apparent. You want the other person to be able to understand both what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. Second, go somewhere private and quiet for the call, and ask the other person to do the same. If possible, make sure neither of you is dealing with any distractions. When we’re physically distant from someone, we’re more likely to view them, or the difficult situation, abstractly. That’s why it’s so important to be detailed, whether you’re giving feedback or delivering bad news.

Making notes before the meeting can ensure that you cover all the points you need to. This can be even truer when we are having difficult conversations. Going into a difficult conversation without a goal can make it even more challenging. A clear objective can help you stay focused, save time and effort, reduce stress and anxiety, improve communication, and promote mutual understanding. When there is a problem, conflict, or misunderstanding between two or more people, the best way to resolve it is by having a conversation instead of engaging in avoidance behaviors.

Whether you’re delivering a performance warning, telling someone they aren’t getting a promotion, or firing someone, these interactions are stressful. In fact, many leaders will do almost anything to avoid them. Reach out to someone who can listen without jumping to solutions or judgment. Having a support system helps make you feel a little less alone, and it’s another way to show up for yourself.